A script created with youths from London's estates in Wandsworth, Ladbroke Grove and Portobello.

Contact: charlie@sunofhope.org

An excerpt after Mario Luis Cobos' Philosophical "Guided Experience"

Can I change the pattern of my life?

I know I am being punished when I wake one morning and find men sitting in my kitchen ready to arrest me. They take me in my pyjamas to a judge in the city and without a moment's pause he condemns me to death. I see the relief of all in the court who let out a great sigh as if nothing has irritated them so much as having to wait for me to turn up for my own verdict.

"It is slightly annoying!" I say, " to be told my crime here which I have missed the trial for. But then again I hear that in Russia under Stalin there were trials like this where people know nothing of their crimes and then were sent to Siberia to dig and dig and bury-" " I know," the judge says with a condescending air, "they dug and dug and they dug up the roots of very old trees and then buried their dreams under them. But you live in liberated times. You are lucky. Much as you have loved the government and slaughtered your family for their lack of faith don't you see that your family are who you are and that just by presenting them to the President doesn't exonerate you?

Anyway I've heard from our friends in America who are embracing our Arabic world with real charm and hearty warmth that you were a friend of students at Columbia University where Edward Said taught English. Of course he was an excellent teacher of comparitive literature and melded much in people's minds that it is dangerous to meld and meddle with when they are young, open, gullible.

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that you wrote that you witnessed him throwing a stone across the border from Lebanon into Jordan. I don't know why," the judge said in an exasperated voice as he sighed so heavily that the members of the gallery winced, " he was defended by the University of New York for his freedom of expression, "his joyous moment" as he put it. When you throw a rock then sooner rather than later someone will throw a rock at you.

Your parents died in the refugee camp where you were born and where that carricaturist who was assasinated in London came from too. You also describe yourself as an astrologer, who has created a zodiac of wars. That is to say you have a constellation made up of the West's false assumptions about the East.

How do you know they are false? I quote you:
All they have to say of us is that we are oil producers or terrorists. Those were words that could inflame hearts. Saddam who imprisoned you in his mercy for six months let you out. Then you escaped. " Do you have anything to say in your defence?" the judge said peering like an old owl over the books and registry of cases infront of him. I reached for some water and hoped that I could just make something of the act of drinking so they would see I was a human, a thirsty human just like anyone.

" In the desert, " I said as I gargled, not knowing why the words came out, clearing my throat again as if it might cover my words. " Is that all you have to say? "The judge asked. "Ahhm". I cleared my throat again. I drank again for effect. I thought I might use the time I was holding the glass to think of something to say. I said:Yes, well, the water is really exceptionally good. Is it from a mineral source of some spring or is it just that the water near these courts is really -ah - just very fine water?

"Is that all you have to say? You say that she sought peace. You say that you taunted and told all your girlfriends not to sleep with their husbands. Your punishment will be that you are sent to the desert strictly without any water. "In the desert yes, I see you are in the desert and you must drink or die. So.....Well, I can't help that," he said looking into his book and holding his glasses as if it might help him. I felt embarassed that my loyal act of killing my family was a crime. I started to cough and then reached for some water. Well, the only thing I can say is that you should have honoured your family. You claim to have been Lysistrata who stopped the wars of the ancients by refusing sex. That was pre-Christian and pre-Islam, how could you be? Just 'cos your first name is Lissie, Ms. Strat. There is no comparison. Ah well." I see no reason to deny crimes I haven't committed. Am I the only one who sees an elepant is in the room?

With that I was carted off into the desert in the back of a jeep. After a while I spotted what looked like people with camels, nomads perhaps. My feet were so hot that I found myself feeling chilled and yet was burning and sweating at the same time. I ran hoping that my feet would cool from moving off the sand.. I see a tent and run to the entrance. I am guided in and asked to sit with what looks like some elders. They ask me something but all I can hear is sounds like drums or thunder and smashing of lightning.

Then I am handed some headphones and suddenly they ask me to return to the moment when I think I went wrong in life. (Pause)

After a while they ask me what I would have done differently if I could. I think about it. They also then suggest that things happened which perhaps I had no control over or was unable to influence in the direction I wish. I muse for some time lost in the suggestion that what happened was not my fault. There eyes seem to open as I see the truth of what they say. For a moment I think they are going to let me return to that time.

Then they say, "Ok, let's accept that you can't change what happened. That isn't the point. You can change the way you think about yourself and how you acted. So realizing that I'm not condemned I wonder if the court I was at was a dream. In fact I start to realize that if I'm not to blame for what happened in my past then I have a future. As I wake I hear the words: This is Big Sister! Are you a human who just dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly who is dreaming?

The sun fills greater space in humans than the sky. We create our own reality. When I close my eyes it is night. When I open them it is day. Sometimes when I open my eyes though I don't see anything, but when I have them closed I see lots. When I close my eyes it is day. God created light out of darkness. When I open my eyes it is night in the jungle of cities and estates. - Have you noticed that? Now Lizzie has her eyes closed - but look she is straining to see something..! Sometimes people have their eyes closed but they see much more than they ever have!

Some people say the world is made of rich and poor or that money makes the world go round. But I'm a musician of the mind. I can dowload the music of the spheres. Through my fingers.(Music plays ) In my future I see myself with a taxi that I'm going to drive to Africa with other taxis. In case people get lost in the desert of their minds; from the money I make on charging to drive them back I'll build my garage. Like Luke Clifford from Roehampton Estate.

Sometimes I think that our leaders are like that. They say they know what we need. But they've lost the plot. They are trying to stop us seeing the sand coming out of their mouths. I heard they were in Parliament talking about the sand dunes and how they don't know where it's coming from. But word has it that their words are empty like sand or dust in the wind.

They may say : 'we need more new housing', but I already get lost in the jungle or woods or London's estates.

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